The silliest insult someone has given you?

[Ⓩ-Ⓐ-Ⓜ-Ⓞ-Ⓡ-Ⓐ]

My 3 year old son came back from nursery one day and called me a “Silly goose” which I found rather silly. 🪿

 

[zefarelly]

All the usual 70's stuff for us growing up.

at work at lunch the other week 2colleagues was discussing some trainers . . .I asked for a look and said they're horrible, she replied they're not for you ya f***ing bender.

Whilst I appreciate it many placesd you'd get the sack, we all pissed ourselves laughing!

 

[Happy Exile]

A few months ago, when the mullet reappeared on the heads of many men in their early 20s around Brighton at least, I was in a pub on a university reunion and heard a member of staff refer to one mulleted man has having attained "peak virginity" which felt like a cruel, but quite inventive insult.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Someone asked to borrow my phone the other day, they looked a bit dodge so I said no.

As I walked away he went 'oh what's that'. I turned around and he said 'dropped your gay card'.

Haven't heard that one since I was at school 30 years ago!

 

[The Clamp]

At my school, If you fumbled the ball or dropped something in the dining hall etc you would be met with loud cries of

“UNCO! UNCO”!

As in uncoordinated.

Was always quite funny.

 

[The Clamp]

Someone asked to borrow my phone the other day, they looked a bit dodge so I said no.

As I walked away he went 'oh what's that'. I turned around and he said 'dropped your gay card'.

Haven't heard that one since I was at school 30 years ago!

Haha! People try that all the time when I’m out on foot patrol. I fell for it once, never again.

 

[cheshunt seagull]

I was called a tosswanker many years ago by someone who I thought was a friend after much drink had been taken. Not a word I had heard before but I may have deserved it.

 

[Justice]

My 3 year old son came back from nursery one day and called me a “Silly goose” which I found rather silly. 🪿

Well I hope you put him on half rations and made him do 50 press ups.

 

[Ding Dong !]

As a Locksmith ( not 24 hr anymore) i often wake up to messages from customers who have called in the middle of the night. I kept a recording of one I received about 6 years ago because it still makes me laugh to this day. This was the voice message word for word:

" Hello, you've got 24 hour f*cking Locksmith on your f*cking website site, and your phones off you little mug, so ring me back you c.*nt , cos I need to get back in my house, d*ckhead"

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Going back half a century, one of my mates started calling his girlfriend a born-again virgin!
We presumed this was because he was getting "no" to his advances but we all knew her last boyfriend was getting "yes".
Well, that's what he told us ....

 

[Justice]

As a Locksmith ( not 24 hr anymore) i often wake up to messages from customers who have called in the middle of the night. I kept a recording of one I received about 6 years ago because it still makes me laugh to this day. This was the voice message word for word:

" Hello, you've got 24 hour f*cking Locksmith on your f*cking website site, and your phones off you little mug, so ring me back you c.*nt , cos I need to get back in my house, d*ckhead"

I used to do 24hrs more hassle than it’s worth. I’ve had people call me back the next day wondering why I didn’t answer the phone at 4am

 

[The Lemming Stomper]

A punter from Sudan once told me and @Peacehaven Wild Kids to stick our job up AN arse

There weren't too many volunteers if any !

 

[Algernon]

I was playing footy against Alliance and Leicester at Patcham Place and deliberately blocked an opposing central midfielder from running back to his own half. He swung a punch, missed, then told me to "get back to the building site"
I've never ever set foot on a building site.
My favourite insult is to call someone a sausage, my second is dicksplash.

 

[Bodian]

"your mother was a hamster...."