Morecambe jokes...........

[El Presidente]

Are they racist.......or just offensive in general due to bad taste.........or funny?

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

I don't really have much of an idea what happened in Morecambe, but I was "lucky" enough to get a chain email about it with the word 'pakis' in the opening line. And the jokes were crap as well.

 

[JJ McClure]

I thought the shark one was quite funny.

 

[Braders]

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.


My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

 

[London Irish]

Jokes that take the piss out of government witch-hunting of asylum seekers = funny

Jokes that take the piss out of the poor slobs who died = sick

 

[Lammy]

Damn I thought this was a thread full of Morecambe jokes!

Oh well...

They found out how it happened: They were told to get out of the water as soon as it got to knee-high..

Problem is, Ni-Hay was still sitting in the van..

 

[CHAPPERS]

Q: What are a Chinaman's favourite shoes?
A: Winkle pickers.

My personal favourite...

Morecambe council are spending thousands of
pounds on their sea defences. Apparently there
are a few chinks in it...

Sorry.

 

[Uncle Buck]

The take away in Morecambe has been shut all week. They are waiting for the Chef to wash up.

Leaving....

 

[Sussex on Leith]

We had this conversation in the pub earlier in the week, but it just degenerated into an exchange of sick jokes through the years.

My personal favourite (and it's going back a bit):

Q: What has four legs and goes Woof?
A: Piper Alpha.

 

[CHAPPERS]

The take away in Morecambe has been shut all week. They are waiting for the Chef to wash up.

Leaving....

 

[Mr C]

Jokes that take the piss out of government witch-hunting of asylum seekers = funny

Jokes that take the piss out of the poor slobs who died = sick

Lighten up dude

 

[Lammy]

We had this conversation in the pub earlier in the week, but it just degenerated into an exchange of sick jokes through the years.

My personal favourite (and it's going back a bit):

Q: What has four legs and goes Woof?
A: Piper Alpha.

If it's sick jokes you want!!!

Q: What's a foot long, pink and stiff?









A: Cot Death


* Literally running for the door! *

 

[Mr C]

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.


My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

 

[Sussex on Leith]

Not sick, but my favourite joke of recent times:

Q. What's grey and smells of curry?
A. John Major's cock.

 

[Lammy]

Not sick, but my favourite joke of recent times:

Q. What's grey and smells of curry?
A. John Major's cock.

 

[FG aka Football Genius.]

i thought they were wise jokes

 

[Timbo]

If it's sick jokes you want!!!

Q: What's a foot long, pink and stiff?









A: Cot Death


* Literally running for the door! *

f*** me they don't get any sicker than that! That is without doubt the worst I've ever heard!

 

[Turgid]

He'll never sell any ice creams going at that speed.....

 

[Lady Whistledown]

We had this conversation in the pub earlier in the week, but it just degenerated into an exchange of sick jokes through the years.

My personal favourite (and it's going back a bit):

Q: What has four legs and goes Woof?
A: Piper Alpha.

Harsh, but then I do remember singing "Let em be, let em be, let em float out to the sea" while at school (in response to the re release of Let It Be for the Zeebrugge ferry disaster.

So I shall not judge!

 

[Hiney]

STOP PRESS

Police have named six of the Morecambe victims



Way Ding
Sin King
Drow Ning
Leff To Dy
Fuk Its Cold
Ty Dis Hi


Hat, coat, scarf and gloves at the ready