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Sounds like we've got the next John Travolta on our hands.

Has he sped up between you starting writing this and finishing?

If they view the captaincy anything like the manager's position, I wouldn't put too much store by that.

As long as they have faith, they will be forgiven.

It's been foretold. While in exile in Babylon, the Israelites saw a vision, that Joao Pedro would perform impressively for a team in blue and white stripes in the top half of the Premier League. It's not a passage of the bible that typically attracts much attention.

If we can't get distracted by questioning whether French Guinea has it's own national football team, what's the point of anything? They do, but it's not recognised by FIFA, incidentally.

Although you'd presumably have looked at the weather forecast or out a window, rather than your information having been deliberately leaked by a parasite bent on squeezing as much money out of football as they can as quickly as possible.

That you're with "it". Until "it" changes, and becomes weird and scary. That happened to me about 25years ago.